Little Bits

Well, its been an interesting few weeks. Aiden has been to his therapist twice and been on his meds for a few weeks. Have I seen a change? Yes. Is it too early to tell if these two changes are helping him? Yes. Why? Because he has been on school holidays and hasn't had the added stress of assignments due and teachers bawling him out.

There are times when we forget how much he takes in and how literal he is. This was brought back to both his dad and I on the weekend. The kids helped me out in the yard, moving a very heavy cage into our chickens pen. They didn't whinge much BUT later, when it came to moving a cubic meter of dirt, they all cracked it...big time. Previously, Aiden has told me, in a fit of temper, that he hates being treated like a slave. Well, on Sunday, his sister spat the same accusation at me.

By the end of the day, after moving a huge amount of dirt, my back was a mess. I couldn't breathe without it spasming. I was in a whole world of hurt and it wasn't getting any easier. I still had a mound of washing to fold. Even bending down to pick up a pair of knickers had me breaking out in a cold sweat and swooning. And I had three whingeing kids who were refusing to help.

It was at that point that I was done. I had put up with being accused of forcing my kids into slavery. I had one day to do all the chores and I was asking for help, help they refused to give...so I quit. I told all three of them that I would not be doing any of the little things I normally do to make their lives easier. No making lunches, no driving them to school, no folding laundry...nothing.

I got the exact reaction I expected, wails of disbelief, moans of "its not fair". And then I looked at Aiden. He was white as a ghost and hyperventilating. He quickly left the room and my husband found him screaming into his pillow. After a good ten minutes he came into our room with tears streaming down his face. Aiden thought we meant that we weren't going to do ANYTHING for him at all and we were going to leave him alone, on his own. Hubby spent ages talking him down and it culminated with Aiden throwing himself into his arms thanking him for not leaving him alone.

I forget that Aiden is so literal, that his life is black and white. There are no grey areas. He doesn't "get" sarcasm, he often has to ask me if I'm being sarcastic with him. That I often have to explain jokes and puns to him.

I forget that my boy is broken. Does that make me a bad Mum?

Cin

Keep Calm and Carry On...

A lot has happened in the last week.

I had a meeting with Aidens teachers and developed excellent strategies for all of us to stay in touch. These include a virtual classroom for us all, more checking of his diary and help after school on some days. I made it abundantly clear to all of them that Aiden is not handling school very well, neither academically nor emotionally. I came away from this meeting refreshed and energised.

We went out and purchased a small notebook computer for Aiden to use in the classroom for his notes as well as at home for his assignments. He is not allowed games on this computer, nor is it a toy.

Discussions with the paediatrician went very well. Not only did he reiterate the importance of Aiden speaking to a therapist but he also gave Aiden a script for a mood stabiliser. So, my kid has joined the ranks of medicated kids. Being that I too am medicated, I am looking for the same "help" that my crazy pills give me (grin). I'm looking forward to having a more balanced child, emotionally.

And today Aiden began seeing a therapist to help him talk through his feelings, his emotions, how to control his anger, things like that. I was quite happy with Dr R and Aiden seemed to like her as well. We did discuss the difficulties with the way Caitie treats her brother and will be working on that too. 

One thing that jumped out at both appointments was Aiden complaining about lack of sleep! I find that odd as he is in bed by 8pm and asleep by 8.30 every night. The house gets up at 6.30 but we let him sleep in til 7pm. That's around 11 hours of sleep and still he claims to be tired? Is it more emotional tired than physical perhaps? 

The poor wee man is also struggling with social issues particular for his age, specifically girl trouble. We are working through this too and I feel its very important that I don't dismiss his feelings or minimise  them.  What he is feeling is very real and it's very painful and I want him to understand that I get it! It's hard to look into your sons eyes and hear him cry " why won't she look at me, why doesn't she give me a chance?"  oh my love, if I knew the answer I would be a very rich person. For now, I tell him there are two solutions- one is to walk away, forego his friendship and cut all ties OR stay a friend in the hopes that maybe in the future her feelings may change. Tough call but he chose option number two. And here I was thinking I would be having these talks with my daughter!

So, we are ready for Term 2. Lord help us!

Cin