How did I get to this????

Ok, I know I've been a little maudlin lately but I had to share something that confuses me.

I was bullied in High School...not just picked on but seriously bullied, I am talking about hit, spat on, had dead reptiles thrown at me, abused and denigrated. I know my tormentors don't remember the hell they put me threw when I consider the amount of them who want to friend me on Facebook. I sit here and think "You called me a useless whore, a bitch, a slut and every other name under the sun. You hurt me physically, emotionally and mentally and NOW you want to be my friend?" Unlike High School I can now choose to delete you from my life!

Thats not what confuses me though. Like most people who had a traumatic upbringing of sorts, I have quite low self esteem. Most people who meet me don't know this, all they see is the quirky, funny woman I have become. However, put me in a room with ten strangers and I will be scratching my nails to the quick trying to get out!

What I don't understand is why so many people seem to like me? And no, before you ask, this isn't my way of asking everyone to come out of the woodwork and sign my blog, telling me how great I am...though that would be nice! Its more a case of meeting people for the first time and having them decide they really like me. I'm not used to it. AND I've been out of high school for many, many years. (twenty but who's counting).

We went to a garage sale the other day and it happened to be around the corner from me and I felt, like I usually do, that I was never going to see these people again so I was my usual weird self. Husband then chose to drop in again on the way to work and the wife mentioned she would love to have a couple of glasses of wine with me just because she loved my sense of humour! I am not used to having that affect on people! I have another friend who is younger than me and sees me as a mother figure...she told me this.

I am not used to being liked and respected, its weird...I'm just me, crazy, quirky, funny, round me!

Cin