How To Deal With Bullies.

There is a video that has gone viral which shows a young man taking a stand against a bully and fighting back. The young man has been labelled a hero and a poster child for bullied children everywhere. Much has been said about sensationalising bullying because this footage has been played over and over again. For me, as a parent, I believe the young man is a hero because, when all was said and done, he walked away. He stood there and took the bullying, snapped, gave as good as he got but then he walked away. He could have beaten his bully to within an inch of his life but he didn't.

I found myself on the other side of the coin on Friday when my husband rang me at our shop to inform me that Conor wanted to tell me something. Slightly bemused, I tried to speak to a little boy who could only say "whennoehrjhokdlkfee....uh uh uh". "I don't understand you", I replied. This was followed by another senence of gobbledygook followed by the word "bully". "You've been bullied at school?" I said into the phone....and this little voice, full of tears whispered, "No, I bullied Jack and made him cry and I bullied A- as well...." He subsided into wails of despair. I counted to three, pulled much air into my lungs and roared,"You did WHAT!"

I don't tolerate bullying. I was a bullied child and I... DO... NOT... TOLERATE... IT... IN... MY... HOME! All of my kids know this.

When I got home, Conor showed me a letter his teacher made him write to apologise to me for being a bully. I decided then and there that it simply wasn't enough. It was time to show my school how bullies should be dealt with. I got down on his level, looked him in the eye and told him exactly how I felt about him, about bullying and I finished with "I love you very much but right now, I don't want to be your friend."

Monday morning rolled around and he was marched up to the school, he was made to stand in front of his class and apologise to Jack, to his other victim even though she wasn't there, to his class and to apologise for not being safe, being responsible or being respectful. I spoke to the students and asked them if they could help Conor to not be a bully to the other students because it is not allowed in my home. And I asked Jack if he accepted Conors apology.

Of course, it would have made more impact if His Nibs didn't have a big shit-eating grin on his face at the time BUT I made my point to him. And besides, I made him cry first....(gr)

And this is how I feel parents should deal with bullying. DON'T accept it as a normal part of growing up, don't expect it to make your child stronger, don't think it fantastic that you have the toughtest kid in the school. And most importantly, don't be afraid to haul your little rotter up in front of the school and make him apologise. Bullying can scar kids for life, it affects how they interact with others and it can affect their ability to make longterm relationships in the future. Stand up for your child if he is being bullied but also stand beside him if he is a bully and make him stop! Its what all good parents do...I know because I did!

First Day and Aspergers Ramblings....

Tuesday was a big milestone for our family as Conor went for his very first day at Prep School. Prep is what used to be preschool and now goes from 9am to 3pm, a big day for little people, especially when its five days a week!

All of my kids were up at 5.30am too excited to sleep. Caitie was very excited as she now is in the Middle school of our P-12 school. It meant a new uniform, new area of the school campus and a new format for learning. Aiden was excited too as he had a new teacher. Our aims for all of the kids this year are neater handwriting, more diligence in the classroom and NO MORE BULLYING!! Caitie had actually been assigned to the same class as a girl who viciously attacked her last year and I made it known that if she were to stay in that class, I would be removing her from the school. The Principal had her moved to a different class, with a teacher she likes alot...which is a plus. She's tough as old boots, is Caitie, but there is only so much a young lady can handle.

A huge thankyou to Nana Jen for helping me hem her skirt and take in her shirts (in other words, Jen did the work and I cheered) and for making her headbands. I have orders for more (grin).

All three in their beautiful new uniforms. Please take note that they are wearing white socks and Caities blouse is white...it'll probably be the last time ever that they are ALL wearing matching clean socks and her uniform is pristine. She got home yesterday and somehow managed to get chocolate on the BACK of the blouse.

As an aside- Anyone care to comment? A friend of mine has a child with Aspergers Syndrome. AS children have a lack of empathy to others as one of the symptoms. Its seems that many more children are being diagnosed with this area of the Autism spectrum these days than previously before. Is it because we know a little more about it? We understand that children with AS are not willful, disobedient children who have little care for others? And this is the ponderings of a mother who doesn't have a child with AS- Could some of our more horrific crimes of old have been committed by those with AS as they had no concept they were doing wrong and had not been diagnosed? I ask in all seriousness and fully understand that I will probably upset some parents with AS children. I am not saying that AS kids are mass murderes or rapists in the making...just a tangent of thought that hit me. Rather than bottle it up, I was curious as to the concept??? Has anyone any thoughts on this?

Cin