I am Nav-Woman!

My husband and I run an antique store and we often have to either deliver stock or pick stock up. For years now, I have been the navigator, the one who directs us to our destination. I rarely get lost unless we have to go to one of the newer areas where the streets are tiny and crammed in and getting lost is easy for everyone!

THEN, on the weekend my husband came home with a NavMan. I am both angry and somewhat hurt. He says its for when he has to go out on his own. He has the sense of direction of a blind dog. He could get lost in a paperbag that has been left OPEN!

I am still miffed....very, very miffed. Why? Because the first time he decided to use it was when I WAS SITTING NEXT TO HIM! So he lied.

Anyway, he plugs it in and off we go. We get half way to our destination and the damn thing goes flat. I looked at him, he looked at me and then he dove for the refidex while still driving. I mildly said that I would gladly navigate if he wanted me to. And I got us to our destination in no time.

Fast forward to Day 2. Second journey....He tells the client on the phone that yes he can find their house because (dun dun DAHHHHH) he has a Navman. On the way there we stopped in to get a holder for the damn thing. I told him calmly that I would figure out how to attach it while he drove. When the salesman handed us the packet, Husband told him that the "little wife" would put it on. AND he wondered why I glared at him.

So, off we go again. All is going well until the Navman told him to take the left exit in 1.5km. He looked at me while I placidly looked at him. "Turn left in 50m". He glanced at me again, "What, this exit?" I just stared at him as the exit whipped past with the Navman telling him to turn left NOW!

"Was that it?" he says. "How should I bloody know, do I have Navman written on my head?"

4.6 km, one U-Turn and 4.6km back the other way and we were back on track with me looking a little smug and him looking downright peeved! Further down the road he was informed to turn left in 600m. He was in the right hand lane. Turn left in 150m, still in the right hand lane, turn left NOW....and we whipped past the next turn. This time I just gaped at him with complete disbelief.

Around we went again. At the next set of lights, I turned on him. "Listen up you great git, if you KNOW you are going to have to turn left, you get in your bloody left lane!" I poked a finger at the Navman."See that little arrow, look where its going every time you stop at the lights, it actually gives you a bloody warning that you are going to have to turn!"

We turned the corner, him very subdued, me quietly seething. Ten minutes later, less than 1 minute from our destination, in failing daylight, the bloody Navman turned off. "Did you charge it...." I asked through gritted teeth. "It was on all day", he whimpered. That left me scrabbling for the refidex, in the middle of a rabbit warren of tiny streets where I couldn't read the map in the light. And to make matters worse, husband kept on driving. In less than 30 seconds he had us completely lost, I had no idea where we were and I had to get us back. A few wrong turns and we finally reached our destination.

After unloading the stock, we went to leave...and he immediately went to drive down the wrong street. He got lost by just turning around.

As we finally headed home, I said to him, with a fully fledged snarl, "Get rid of the bloody Navman, you've got us lost twice with it, it won't stay bloody charged and for the love of God, if it does turn off...STOP BLOODY DRIVING!"

I think its a fair call to say that his bargain Navman is going to be retired...soon.